Trouble in River City Starts With Pool

I did something completely ridiculous the other day. I ordered a swimsuit on-line. Bathing suits by nature are not ridiculous - what is ridiculous is that I don't swim - or at least I haven't since I was a kid - not counting water aerobics which was an obsession for awhile years ago. The fact is the idea of immersing myself in a pool was so powerful that some part of me decided this was an essential purchase. But it is no mere bathing suit...oh no...it is technically a triathlete outfit. To be fair, I only picked it because it covered the maximum amount of skin possible without ordering a wet-suit - which of course, would be madness! So I am advised it is hurtling toward me as I write this - and I can say with complete confidence that the chances of me actually using it for the purpose intended is zero - and even my communion with a pool at this point highly unlikely. Nonetheless the thought of it makes me deliriously happy - like a vacation will soon be delivered to my door. You could call it an impulse buy and on one level it most certainly is, but on another it feels necessary to me to have this this costume - the garb someone who is healthy and well might sport while cycling around the city or crossing a lake. I think there is something about the idea of plunging into a pool of warm water - feeling your body rise up from the deep end - weightless and un-anchored - and floating to the surface for that first breath of air - that is calling to me on these days when every activity feels more and more taxing - when my expectations about how each day might unfold gets smaller and smaller. So I wait for my parcel to appear - to tear open the box and wait for the magic to happen.