$69.7 Billion Worth of Misery

An organization referred to as the National Eating Disorder Collaboration in Australia produced an info-graphic which showed the estimated total social and economic cost of eating disorders in that country to be 69.7 billion in 2012. I can't speak to how this dollar value was derived or its accuracy - but suffice it to say there's a whole lotta' misery going on. Let's consider that price-tag for a moment - that is more than four times the value of the total BC health budget. I have tried not to harp on this issue - instead dwelling rather annoyingly on my failing kidneys - and that should be an indication of the shame associated with this topic for me. But I have been thinking lately that I would be abundantly annoyed if at some point my passing is described on an official document like a death certificate, as a product of a faulty organ - and I am telling you here and now - that will by no measure be the reason why. I suspect it won't make any difference - and I won't be around to argue about it - but it is suddenly important to me that the facts are straight. I won't get into the details of where I currently am as I know numbers and talk of the specifics can be incredibly triggering to someone who is suffering - but I will say that even the prospect of death hasn't warmed its icy grip. Rock bottom after rock bottom and still...But this, despite the uncomfortably personal nature of what I have shared, is not about me - it is about the prospect of shaking some anonymous someone who has a son or daughter, friend or acquaintance in danger of falling down this rabbit-hole. You may not be able to stop them - but maybe you can cushion their fall.
I know that people in all sorts of desperate circumstances find hope - in circumstances far more despairing than my own and I really do want the glass to be half full. But I am trying so hard to speak the truth - to call a spade a spade as if it really matters. This is one of those times when this blog is equivalent to a confessional - where the penance is the incredible risk of being written off as just another nutty nobody who lacked gumption. And that is where I sit - perched on the precipice of being entirely dismissed by trying to tell you just how real this can be and the dollar value of this lost cause? Priceless...