Saturday, 12 October 2013

My Name is Michelle and I am Addicted to Househunters

HGTV is a scourge and a menace. Otherwise known as the Home and Garden channel - at least six times a day we are treated to Househunters - a show where couples (a significant proportion with seemingly sketchy employment and champagne dreams) dutifully pick apart three potential abodes before grudgingly selecting their dream home. Any one of them could be a poster child for the sub-prime mortgage collapse south of the border and often you are left wondering who the ninny was that approved their financing. According to our realtor, this show and others like it should prepare us for the disdain and general unhappiness of the new crop of potential buyers that may stumble through our door. Apparently I am not alone in my obsession with this show and now will have to face an assembly line of similar sour-pusses who after years of absorbing these miserable tours of the dissatisfied and the rock-bottom prices in the suburbs of Atlanta (where apparently 200 thousand buys you an over 28 hundred square foot mansion - that our buyers invariably complain is "too tight") will be poo-pooing any inkling of compromise and busily subtracting their granite counter-tops and stainless steel appliances from the purchase price. Househunters buyers invariably sneer at the size of walk-in closets larger than our home - have wish-lists that include "man-caves" and of course the popular "crafting room" and roll their eyes at anything less than a three-car garage. On a recent show, houses were dismissed on the basis the toilets weren't elongated enough..."too round". These are the terminally dissatisfied people who will invariably sniff at our offering, despite all of the de-cluttering, the scouring, the fix-ups - they want it all at bargain basement prices. After dutifully scrubbing inside every one of our kitchen cabinets I found a minute sliver of wood when I opened an empty drawer a day later and almost had heart failure. One must gird one's loins at the prospect of it all - the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune hunting - and the tribes of chronic dreamers who we need to convince that the house we love is worthy enough to call home.


  1. We put our house up on the market last year and then backed out and cancelled our contract. Our realtor decided to up and leave on a month and a half vacation just weeks after we listed it....then he put us on to someone else in his office. Well this someone else just so happened to bring a buyer. We then went through a couple private viewings by this potential couple,,, then we locked into a week long agreement which included inspections. Stuff came back in the inspection but we werent allowed to see. Then they wanted further inspections and wanted to extend the contract by another week. By this time we wanted out of the whole deal...we felt we had hired a realtor -- who was now gone and his replacement was working for them and we had no representation. We also husband being a carpenter -- that our house was in really good shape and a very good deal based on their offer. The only thing I learned from my whole experience is one tidbit I would like to pass along. When it comes to the home inspection -- which it will -- and they make you an offer -- accept the offer but also put a stipulation in the contract that your price will not go down based on whatever the house inspection reveals. Buyers can really dicker you down based on these findings...when most of time they are minor. That way -- I feel -- if they want to go through the home inspection route you wont feel bad that they have paid for it and that your offer is not negotiable. The offer is usually already less than the asking the inspection can be a tool for the buyer to further lower their offer...which will piss you off. The realtor will come back to you with inspection problems and right then you know you are not going to get what was first offered. They almost guilt you into the fact that these people have paid for this inspection and they deserve further inspections and a reduced offer. The whole thing left us sour as we knew we have a good solid house. Anyways thats my opinion....I am sure your house will sell quickly with its prime location. Beck