Often when the endless channels available on our TV produce nothing worthy of an audience, I turn to something old and familiar like the Mary Tyler Moore show. It is a relic of my childhood and I suspect like many little girls of the day when I was young I aspired to work in a newsroom like her character Mary Richards and have my own little apartment - though not necessarily in Minneapolis. Which brings me to an episode where Mary got suspended from her job (she'd written a fake obituary that the hapless anchor Ted had read on the air) and she is later comforted by her friends, including Ted's love interest, Georgette. She turns to Mary and says something to the effect of didn't she wish she had a man in her life who truly loved her in a sad moment like this so she could turn to him and say - I feel miserable and I want to kill myself. I guess you had to be there, because it was very funny. This is a long-winded way of trying to begin to explain my dark post of a few days ago. Writing things down has always been my way of making sense of my world - where I can say things I couldn't possibly articulate out loud. So on those days when my current situation overwhelms me, it helps to "release the hounds" as it were and churn out whatever thoughts are going through my head at the time. Maybe it is also a response to endlessly being asked by people who genuinely care about the answer (and some who really don't) how I am. The fact is there are days where everything I said is true - and others where a little bit of energy returns and I feel like I can get through it. And like Mary, I know I have people who love me who are strong enough to take the dark days and wait for the light.