Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Forget Your Troubles, Come On Get Happy

I have had a lot of happy news lately. People in my life celebrating some of life's bigger moments...a former colleague who goes on maternity leave this week awaiting her first baby, another who just got engaged. My excitement over all of the upcoming events has me floating - brimming with the fullness of their joy. In my latest lab work, my numbers had perked up a bit - not better than when my kidney issues were first discovered - but better in some areas than they had been in a while. It is a mystery to me what I will discover each month when I go on-line and - eyes half-closed - peak at where I have landed. And I couldn't help thinking that this wave of events - the happiness I feel on their behalf - has had some influence. But again, in the interest of full disclosure, from the uncertain throne I now sit on - each piece of good news brings with it a twinge of something else - it is impossible now not to regard events that will occur in the future with a question mark, some sting of uncertainty about where I will be - what state I might find myself in when these happy occasions take place. It is also about acknowledging that life marches on - it doesn't stop to suit my mood or is in any way diminished by my standing still.  And for now all I want to do is focus on the forward movement - the fact I still have a front-row seat...not quite a participant, but an enthusiastic cheer-leader for the people I love - for their initiation into the next phase of their life and the new beginnings that peak around the next corner.

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