Christmas - Busting Out All Over

So I would normally fall into the Scrooge category when it comes to the holiday season - think I won't repeat myself in saying it hasn't normally been a time of year when the traditional "merriness" washes over me. But I will say this year something suddenly feels different - something that my most maudlin soul can't completely ignore. Some kind of generosity of spirit that feels present - not gift-wrapped - but something in my heart that feels the joy just a little bit - something that is about the best kind of giving - a stirring of my willingness to share a little bit of myself - to the extent I can right now with just a few of the people I love. A sort of mixed wish for the season and a kind of good-bye that doesn't feel so sad - something that acknowledges that this may be the last Christmas for me, but this spirit is alive and here. I almost feel apologetic to say it - but no, it is part of this ride. I refuse for this to be just a time I get through - but something deeper - at least for tonight - the tidings are with me - when you let the fear go - they will come.