The 5th Season - Cruise Ship

And so it begins, the months of confused American tourists traipsing confused and with a hint of fear past our driveway searching elusively for something resembling downtown. Small and large groups dressed completely inappropriately for the weather, with their parkas in one hand and clutching their purses tight to their body in the other, ambling away from the mother-ship and wondering what the buffet might behold on their return. While I will go out of my way to avoid them, my partner, Kirk - while walking our dogs - often engages them in conversation to discover they are from places like South Carolina and Texas, bewildered that things like home ownership exist on our socialist shores. He patiently directs them on the path to something resembling an American retail outlet and has even accompanied several of them well past our street when the directions just don't seem enough. Needless to say the community of folk who choose cruise-ship travel, hardly sturdy Magellan-types in search of brave new worlds, are more apt to sigh deeply upon learning the walk to downtown could take 15 minutes OR MORE and look longingly back at their floating virus-trap, contemplating whether to carry on or catch the karaoke back on board. Studying them and their habits has become like my summer job - who will trip and curse the faulty Canadian infrastructure? Who will gaze upon the houses and declare them unfit by Dallas standards? Who will loudly condemn the wind as if it has blown in their path just to smite them? How many ants will die under their clumsy American feet? Summer is truly here.