Friday, 17 May 2013

When the Genie has Left the Bottle

So it is the day after my disclosure - and here another slice of truth. Several reporters have contacted me and kindly offered to "tell my story". I honestly did not contemplate this response - though as a former reporter and communications person - I perhaps should not be surprised. I have responded that for now I need to let my written words speak for me as I am simply too shaken to contemplate exposing myself any more than I already have (which I know is a lot!) They were incredibly kind and understanding which I appreciate more than they know. I may feel differently someday - but it was never my intent to malign the system or the professionals who work to support those with eating disorders every day - as the bulk of my interactions were long ago. Nor to draw attention to myself or be a poster child for the afflicted - though my compassion for anyone living with this knows no bounds. And before letting myself off the hook, I will share with you that my very first thought when TV was mentioned was that I wasn't thin enough - and maybe I should lose a few pounds - consider that an insight into the way this disease works. (And if you don't think that is legitimate - I remember reviewing a news story about an eating disorder patient when I worked in the Ministry of Health and the response of several of my colleagues to the patient profiled was "she doesn't look that sick" - and sadly I suspect I agreed - implying that had her bones been protruding through her clothes she would have earned our sympathy.) After decades trying to keep this secret - I need some time to sort out how I go forward. For now I continue to be grateful for everyone who has been in touch.


  1. I had a few invitations to "tell my story" through the media over the years, too, and I agreed at least a couple of times. Nothing too wrong with the results, but nothing too right. I think when it's something so deeply personal, especially for those of us who are communicators anyway, it's way better to write your own story and be able to tell it exactly the way you want to. Of course, it took me probably 30 years after the first media invitation to actually decide it was time for me to do that.

    1. And we are lucky you are doing just that, Jody! I think fundamentally I would be most concerned about taking away hope from someone or making them feel my circumstance is their future because in my heart I know people can and do overcome...